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A Life Wholly True

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...His wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God... For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the LORD and did not wholly follow the LORD, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, and for Molech the abomination of the Ammonites, on the mountain east of Jerusalem. And so he did for all his foreign wives, who made offerings and sacrificed to their gods. And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel...   1 Kings 11:3-9

Take careful note of this passage. What did Solomon do to make God angry? What was his great sin?

Idolatry. 

I didn't totally realize the concept of this sin until recently. Sure, I knew that loving something more than God was wrong, but turns out I didn't know the half. 

The wording in this passage is "heart was not wholly true to the LORD." 

I don't know about you, but my heart is rarely ever true to anything. I'm blown like leaves in the wind in fantasies, fashion, friends, social media, and myself. These are idols for me. These are things that come above God in my life. These are making my heart not wholly true to the LORD. 

These are the things Jesus died for. These are the things the LORD, in the Old Testament, punished. These are the things that the LORD, in the New Testament, crucified His Son for. 

This is so wrong. My mind is not fully grasping how wrong it actually is.

I've been told to ponder the gospel every day. Do I do it? Well, no, but I should. And this is the reason why. 

Jesus died for the days I live fo r myself. He died for every selfish thought I've had. (Well, I've had 2000xxxxxxx already today, giving myself some slack, so every day of my life, times the future..) I'm bad off. If ONE sin deserves eternity in hell, and if ONE sin of mine sent Jesus to the cross, imagine all the sins of my life. The sins of the world. 
He died for my selfish depression. He died for my time spent making myself look better and not in His Word. He died for every time I skip devotions to scan social media. 

If I sinned only once in my life, my heart would not be wholly true to the LORD. 

God cannot tolerate sin. He just cannot. His holy, just, sovereign, righteous character cannot allow it. And it's not like He's oblivious to it! He's everywhere - sees everything, even our deepest thoughts and secrets, and knows them all. Because of this sin, even the 'tiny' ones, He is sending us to Hell for an eternity of punishment. Death (Romans 3:23). Because of our stubborn sin. 

But:
As I live, declares the LORD God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die?  Ezekiel 33:11

He has no pleasure in sending us to Hell. He created us. Believe it or not, He loves us, not inspite of our sin, but love so intent that it covers our sin in the form of His blood. However confusing, our sin separates us from that love. 

Yet He did the unthinkable. He sent His own perfect, sinless, beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to die, to be punished by Him - the Father - for sins He didn't commit.For the sins I did commit. Instead of punishing me. 

 But sin, leading to death was still a problem. He took care of that, too. Three days after Jesus was brutally torn for my sins, He rose again to life - defeating death and sin and every threat of the enemy. "How," you ask? "Nobody does that!" You're right. Not just anybody does. Only One did, and He's God Himself. 

 I'm still trying to understand it. Honestly, I don't. I can't understand why this would happen and why God would choose me over His Son. I don't know why God gave me salvation. I don't know why He didn't give it to someone else. I just don't know.

But I do know it's true. I do know that God is helping me to believe it, helping this - and Christ, Himself - to become the most important things in my life. I'm still a long way off - I'm afraid I'll never get there. I'm afraid I'll never truly understand. 

I know I'll never live a life wholly true to the LORD with this sinful heart of mine. I know how to deal with it, too. TURN TO CHRIST.

I pray this is a challenge to your heart, just as it continues to be to mine. Marvel at the gospel. Marvel at Christ. Forget self, it's going to die anyway. 

<3 Berea

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

God is not treasured at all unless He is treasured above all. 
                                           - Saint Augustine
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